A Mother’s Love is Not a Mother’s Like

23 Jun

I truly love my son.  I do.  I really love him.  The thing is…..there are times when I just don’t like him very much. 

The weight of the guilt I used to feel about this used to keep me up at night. I used to pray to be a better mom.  I prayed for patience, a lot.  I asked God to forgive me for being such a disgusting person.   I prayed that my very occasional dislike for Son was just a reaction to the Terrible 2’s or the Whiney 6 year-old Stage or the 14 year-old I Know Everything, You’re Just Stupid Stage. 

Then, I remember that I am merely human, and that it is totally ok to not like your kids sometimes.  I mean, let’s be honest here.  They can be total dickheads sometimes.  

Example 1

Your child is two months old.  It’s 7:00 p.m.  You haven’t had a full night’s sleep in approximately 40 days, but who’s counting?  Your baby has been bathed, diapered and fed.   You think to yourself, “This is the night.”  You can feel it.  Your baby is going to sleep through the night.  If you and Hubby can stay awake long enough, you might even get some. 

You kiss your baby’s beautiful little nose, turn out the light, and close the door.  Fifteen minutes later your baby is screaming so loud that your first instinct is to call 9-1-1, because obviously a Dingo is stealing your baby.  Your baby is up for the for the next 8 hours.  Crying.  For no reason.  You love your baby, but you don’t like him very much right now.

Example 2

Your child is 2 1/2 years-old.  You have to go to the grocery store.  Because you haven’t had a full night’s sleep in approximately 910 days, you’re not thinking clearly.  You decide to take your toddler with you. 

You’re flying through the store Supermarket Sweep style because your baby’s nap time is in about 5 minutes.  If he doesn’ t get his nap he turns into a little troll who will make you want to kill yourself.  You have about $800 worth of groceries in your cart, but you know you won’t be able to put a decent meal together with any of it because you didn’t have time to check your list.  You need to get the hell out of dodge. 

You’re in line to check out when your baby notices a red plastic squirt gun.  He wants it.  He tells you he wants it.  You say no.  His baby neck veins pop out.  He’s screaming.  You’re sure he’s going to hyperventilate.  He’s in full meltdown mode.  You leave your cart full of groceries at the checkout, and drag a screaming,  kicking child through the crowded parking lot.  You have cereal and hot dogs for dinner.  Love does not equal like.

Example 3

You’re exhausted from a long day at work.  Dinner has been served, dishes are done, and there is a box-o-wine in the fridge with your name on it.  Just as you sit down to enjoy a glass before heading to bed your 7 year-old informs you that her history project is due….tomorrow.  As you look over her assignment you realize your options are to either create an entire Indian village out of toothpicks, twine, and glitter or recreate the Battle of Gettysburg using leggos, firecrackers, food coloring, and toilet paper rolls. 

You’re up the entire night glueing glittler-covered tampons to toothpicks You’re a little drunk, but you’re pretty sure you don’t like your kid so much right now.

Example 4

It’s Monday.  It’s Summer vacation.  Before you go to work you leave a note for your 15 year-old kindly asking him to pick up the dirty underwear and socks that are hanging from the ceiling fan in his room, take the chicken out of the freezer, and let the dogs out once in a while.

You walk in the door at 5:15 P.M., to the shower running, the freezer door wide open, your puppy chewing on dirty boxers, every dish in the house dirtied and on your coffee table, dirty socks sitting on the entertainment center, ESPN blaring on the T.V., a freshly laid dog turd sitting in the middle of the livingroom, and a note that reads, “Mom, I need $20.00 and I’m suppose to sell 150 raffle tickets for football by Wednesday.”

So, yeah.  I don’t like my kid sometimes.

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31 Responses to “A Mother’s Love is Not a Mother’s Like”

  1. marinasleeps June 23, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    I hear you! My parents went over to the house and my son loves my dad so much. When they left , he got so mad he grabbed a play plastic gun and whacked his sister with it cause her to scream/cry and he was screaming/crying the whole time. And I am screaming/crying for him to apologize give her a hug and go to his room!
    or they want a snack so I give them a little something and set them at the table. I tell them to not move from the table.
    I leave to do laundry and when I come back their food is everywhere! Do I starve them!?! Do I tie them to the chair?!?!
    Its like that everyday. Reason why I drink.

    • Don't Make That Face June 23, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

      I can’t imagine more than 1. I don’t know how you do it. I think there’s a little magic (alcohol) involved.

      • Thypolar June 26, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

        There is! It’s called Vodka something something….

      • Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 11:48 am #

        Or rum something or beer something or wine something. 🙂

  2. detrimentalbeauty June 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    I thank you from the bottom of my exhausted heart! My baby is 1 just 1. She melts my heart with love and cuteness, but I am tired sometimes and she has learned tantrum-ing early. Awesome.

    • Don't Make That Face June 23, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

      Oh my poor, dear, sweet girl. Just make it through the 2s and the rest will be easy peasy.

  3. mindslam June 23, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

    Man, that was an awesome post…so damn funny. I understand, I have a 21 year old daughter, a 9 year old daughter, a 10 year old step-daughter, & a new one on the way in January. Great post…Thanks for making me laugh at work!

    • Don't Make That Face June 23, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

      Oh, well then you know exactly where I’m coming from. Congrats on the new edition. At least your other kids are older. That will make things easier (I’m just saying that to make you feel better). 😉

  4. But That's For Another Blog June 23, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    I’m sure having a child is a magical and wonderful thing that every woman should experience, but I’m so freaking happy I haven’t!!

    • Don't Make That Face June 23, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

      LOL! I’m just trying to be honest and put it all out there. No one tells you that you might not like your kids sometimes.

  5. Amy June 23, 2011 at 3:06 pm #

    Oh, I thank God for my husband’s vasectomy!

    • Don't Make That Face June 23, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

      LOL! I tell all of my teenage cousins about the hellish baby years and about how there is no way they could handle it. Good birth control.

  6. Brown Road Chronicles June 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    This is fabulous… you have put into words what everyone knows and feels. My son is 10 and my daughter is 13 and I love them to death… and yes they “can be total dickheads sometimes.” Of course they probably feel the same about us. 🙂

    • Don't Make That Face June 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

      13 year old daughter. Yikes. I was 13 once. I got the idea for this post from my mom. When I told her about disliking my son sometimes she laughed and then she straight out told me I was a little bitch from 13-18 and that, although she loved me, she didn’t start to like me again until I went away to college.

  7. youngamericanwisdom.com June 23, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    God, I love this! So true…all of it. Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

  8. thesinglecell June 23, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

    My sister regularly texts/emails/Facebooks me to tell me to come pick up “my Godson” before she kills him. He’s 3 1/2, and half of a set of twins with personalities that could not be more different. They live two hours away, or I would definitely get him when she tells me to. The other day he hid from her at the babysitter’s house, then ran from her while she was getting his brother out of the car, and then evaded capture in the yard for several minutes, and then trashed his room when he was being punished. But then he called me and asked me to come to the baseball game by his house, and told me he loved me. God makes them cute so you don’t kill them.

    • Don't Make That Face June 24, 2011 at 11:24 am #

      My sister lives close and sometimes I’ll receive an eery voicemail in which my sister asks, in a very monotone, calm, emotionless voice if I would be willing to pick up one or both of her kids or just come to the house and sit with them so that she can untie the noose she’s made for herself in her attic. Good times. My poor sister. Kids can totall f with your head sometimes.

  9. trailertrashdeluxe June 23, 2011 at 6:29 pm #

    I already have no life anyway, and now, thanks to people like you, I’ve spent the last hour and a half reading, and commenting on, just 3 blogposts. ‘Course, I’m a little slow, so maybe someone else could’ve done it all in 15 minutes.

    My God, YES, my little sweetheart is just the cutest, nicest thing ever (6 and 3 quarters years old), but having to, oh, say for example, use any powers of psychology I’ve ever heard of, or figured out on my own, to get her out of Walmart without the 35 dollar Barbie horse, or whatever (that I NEVER hinted I was going to buy for her), without the other shoppers thinking that I must somehow be completely abusing her, because she’s going to scream bloody murder when I try to haul her out without that toy, etc, etc, yeah, then I don’t really like her all that much. Always love her, but thank goodness they invented booze.

    “But I want it! (the toy or whatever)” Yes, honey, I figured that out the first 35 times you said it.

    • Don't Make That Face June 24, 2011 at 11:21 am #

      Oh man, a little girl. Little girls grow up to be teenage girls. They can be little b’s. Believe, me. I know. I was one.
      Just kidding, of course. I’m with ya on the “yes, honey. You told me 20 times in the past 20 seconds that you would really like that squirt gun”. It makes me a little sick to my stomach thinking about that age again.

  10. irratebass June 23, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    Loved this so much I shared it with my co-workers! Great stuff!

  11. mairedubhtx June 24, 2011 at 9:27 am #

    I selected you for the Blog Love award. Go here to check it out. http://mairedubhtx.wordpress.com/2011/06/24/blog-love/

  12. Nicole, the Queen of this life June 24, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    Amen.

  13. accidentalstepmom June 25, 2011 at 9:02 am #

    In the book I read on the plane on the way home from getting the kids it said that I didn’t have to like them all the time. I’m double lucky too cause it said I didn’t even have to love them, but I do anyway. Even though sometimes they’re assholes. I’m so glad I work.

  14. 4kidsunder4 June 27, 2011 at 12:20 am #

    LOVE THIS =] My girls are three and 8mo and my BFF is deploying for a year (My hubby and I are her kiddo’s Godparents) So we will be getting 2 more kids middle of next month… 3 yr old 19mo, & two 8mo olds… I dont think I’ll like anyone for a long time!

    • Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 11:48 am #

      First of all, you’re a saint. Secondly, you’re a great friend. Thirdly, I will pray for you. Seriously, though, hang in there. Your friend is lucky to have you.

  15. tinkerbelle86 June 27, 2011 at 10:53 am #

    hilarious, thanks for such a funny read!

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