Tag Archives: music

I Will Always Love You….Always

13 Feb

Hi!  Did you hear that Whitney Houston died?  Craaaaazy!

The news hit me particularly hard because, like so many other young women my age, it seems like only yesterday that I was teasing my hair, painting on my frosty green and blue Wet n’ Wild eyeshadow, taking a lighter to my Cover Girl jet black eyeliner (you know, the one that came in a red pencil), slathering on the frosty pink lipstick, zipping up my tennis skirt, making sure my socks were perfectly and symmetrically folded inside my white aerobic sneakers, popping my collar, blasting “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” and lip syncing it in front of my mirror using a tennis racquet as a guitar. 

Since I was the only brown skinned girl at my elementary school, I could get away with planting the seed that I looked just like Whitney Houston.  No one ever questioned it.  You know….because I was the closest thing to a black girl we had at my school.  It would have been racist to disagree.  It was one of the perks of not looking like everyone else.  I looooved it.

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What I Thought I Looked Like

 

 

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What I Actually Looked Like...But Not So "Put Together"

I was at my sister’s house for a Vino/Vinyl party on Saturday when I heard the news about Whitney.

SIDE NOTE:  A Vino/Vinyl party is one in which the guest brings a bottle of a wine and an LP vinyl record.  The wine is open and set out for guests to embibe as they wish.  The vinyl gets assigned a number which then gets a corresponding number in a hat.  The hostess has guests pick a number from the hat.  If your record is chosen you can either chose which side of your record you would like played or defer your record until later.  You know… in case it’s too early in the evening for Iggy Pop….or too late in the evening for Iggy Pop.  It should be noted that my record was Janet Jackson’s “Control“.  I challenge you to pick only ONE side of that record to play after you’ve polished off a bottle of white you hid on the bookshelf behind your nephew’s class picture.  It wasn’t easy, but I ultimately went with Side A.

So, I’m at the party when someone walks in and announces, “Whitney Houston died.” so casually that I have to ask him to repeat it:

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Did you say that Whiteny Houston died? How very silly.

What followed was a lot of wine, a lot (but not enough) of Janet, Miss Jackson if you’re nasty, some cheese, and dancing.

Flash forward to Monday morning when I’m talking to my friend, A, about the tragedy:

Me:  Did you hear that Whitney Houston died?

A:    Shut up.

Me.  I know.  Seriously, though.  I was at my sister’s Vino/Vinyl party when I found out.

A:  Your sister had an albino party?

Me:  Viiiiiiinoooooo/Viiiiiiiinyl.  Wine and records.

A:  *Laughing hysterically*  I thought you said albino

Me:  Yes, she had an albino party.  I didn’t feel like getting my dress dirty, though, so instead of painting my arms white, I wore fancy white satin elbow-length dinner gloves….and a bald cap.

A:  *Laughing* Wait.  What?!  Albinos aren’t bald.

Me:  I know.  I just wanted an excuse to wear a bald cap. 

Then, I got a visual of myself at my sister’s Albino party, hearing of Whitney’s death……………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Goodbye, Whitney. Goodbye.

 

 

 

 

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What? Wednesday- Who Run the World?

29 Jun

 I love Beyoncé.  I’ve watched this video for Beyoncé’s “Who Run the World” many, many, many times. 

I also love Cubby very, very much.

What? Wednesday- And Now a Rap by DJ Shut the F Up

11 May

Don’t worry.  It’s totally ok to make fun of this kid.  I, too, thought I’d go to hell for thinking such cruel, but funny things about this video.    Yes, this kid is a complete tool, but he totally wins.  You see, the only way to get this little ditty out your head is to go to church and pray it away.  It’s a wash!

God is doin’ it.  God is doin’ a nu thaaaaaaaang!  *Spirit fingers*

Equal Opportunity Brawler

3 May

My friend “A” called the other day to ask if I would be interested in seeing Def Leppard in concert this Summer (no, I’m not).  That reminded me of something.

One warm Summer night a few years ago, Hubby and I went with “A” and her boyfriend see a local reggae band.  I was particularly excited because I love the band, and because the bar served killer margaritas.  The combination of the weather, music, and fruity drinks is what Summer is all about for me. 

As the band played and the drinks went down, I noticed there was a woman standing directly in front of the stage.  There were about four empty beer bottles and a few empty margarita glasses on the table next to her.  She was very pretty and had this long straight dark hair that swayed back and forth with the beat of the music.  She struggled to maintain her balance. 

The band played the first few notes of “Three Little Birds” and “A” grabbed my arm and screamed “I LOVE THIS SONG!  LETS DANCE.”  She whisked me away toward the front of the crowd and we danced to the music.

Things were getting pretty tight on the dance floor.  As the crowd pushed us closer and closer to the stage I noticed we were also moving closer to Miss Sway-zee .   “A” accidentally bumped into her, and quickly apologized with a sincere “Sorry, hon.  It’s so crowded in here.”

But, Miss Sway-zee wasn’t having it.  She responded with a glare so cold I could see my breath.  “A” was taken aback, “Whatever”, “A” said as I pulled her away.

A few moments later I saw Miss Sway-zee leave her post and stumble towards us.  I immediately got the feeling that this wasn’t going to end well.  I slammed my margarita and prepared for the worse.

Sure enough, just as Miss Sway-zee passed us, she dropped her shoulder right into “A’s” causing “A” to spill her drink all over herself.

A:  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

BB:  *blink, blink*

A:  You need to move along. 

BB:  *glassy-eyed stare*

A:  WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

BB:  *Sway. Stumble. Sway*

A:  You know what?!  You’re wasted.  Just get out of my face.

BB:  *Nothing*

A:  Are you deaf?!  I said get out of my face.

Then, it hit me.  The evening’s scenes played in a montage in my head-  M. Knight Shyamalan style.

  • Miss Sway-zee  had been glued to the front of the stage the entire night-  not even a  foot away from a huge speaker. 
  • When “A” apologized for bumping into her, Miss Sway-zee acted as though she hadn’t heard her. 
  • The verbal exchange that had just happened was literally falling on deaf ears. 

I grabbed “A’s” arm and slurred into her ear, “I’m pretty sure she is deaf.”

Just then a woman came flying across the room yelling, “Stop! ” The woman, who was a close friend to Miss Sway-zee, explained to us that her friend was indeed, deaf. 

“A” was immediately embarrassed.  She turned to apologize to Miss Sway-zee .  “I’m sorry”, she said.  At that moment, Miss Sway-zee grabbed “A’s” face and mouthed with 100% exaggeration and sarcasm,  “F&#K YOU”.

“A” is not proud of what happened next.  But, I can say that Miss Sway-zee didn’t get any special treatment that evening.  “A” is definitely an equal opportunity ass kicker.