Tag Archives: dmtf pics

From the Fourth Stooge

24 Jun

Dear Readers:

Thanks for checking out the blog this week.  I still can’t believe people actually read this.

I have received a few blog awards from fellow bloggers as of late.  Thanks to all who think this blog warrants an award.  I appreciate it. 

First, please know I appreciate the shout-outs.  Please don’t think I’m a complete a-hole (I mean, I am, but you know what I mean). 

The thing is, I’m a complete dickhead I’m sort of OCD, and like to have complete control over what I write about it.  I also highly value the anonymity of this blog.  Believe it or not, I’m sort of shy.  I’m sort of weird about putting too much of myself “out there” (the moon landing never happened, the “man” is always looking over your shoulder, Area 51 is no joke). 

Yeah, I’m weird.

That being said, thanks again to all who have nominated me.  I really appreciate it. 

Please take a minute to like my Facebook page and/or follow me on Twitter.  I’ll follow you back.

Have a great  weekend.  I’m planning on smearing myself in peanut butter and lip syncing Search and Destroy.

DMTF

Sorry. You’re Not My Favorite Ginger

17 Jun

Dear Readers:

I’ve been in a funk lately, and I’ve been neglecting my child (this blog).  I thought for sure I had been gone too long, off my game, M.I.A.  Alas, you are loyal and lovely.  I just wanted to thank you for that.

If you would like, take a second to like my Facebook page and/or follow me on Twitter (I’ll follow you back). 

Gotta run.  I need to fill my brows.

DMTF

P.S.  I bet the curtains match the carpet.

No, I Didn’t Get Raptured. Just Ripped.

1 Jun

What’s up Interweb?!

So, yeah.  I took an unexpected hiatus.  I basically took a hiatus from everything including, but not limited to, cleaning my house, yard work, and checking anything off of my To Do List.   Things I didn’t take a hiatus from include eating ice cream, reading some really good books, humpy time with the Hubby, and piña coladas.

Since my last post, I am now the mother to an adorable, but extremely a-hole-ish, new puppy!  I forgot how much work a puppy can be, especially when you end up with an a-hole like Kemba.  Obviously, I love him, but he’s sort of evile.  As a matter of fact, as I type this I can hear his evil puppy growls and snarls as Hubby sternly repeats, “Kemba!  No bite!!”.  This has been going on for about 20 minutes.  We better break that dog’s spirit soon or I’m afraid we’re going to end up with a complete dickhead of a dog.

I can’t wait to read what you guys have been up to.  I missed you.  Seriously.  I’m not just saying that because I’m drunk.  As my classy girl, Snooki, would say, “I love you so much, I want you to get it in”.

Jersey Shore, Bitches!

To The Beautiful People

20 May

Dearest Readers:

Whoa.  What a week.  TGIF, right?

I’m sitting at work looking out the window like a sad puppy thinking about how wonderful you are, and how I wish we could enjoy a drink together sometime.  Wouldn’t that be great?

Thanks to all who take time out of their busy day to read and laugh at my B.S. 

Next time you’re creeping at pictures of people you haven’t seen in 20 years on Facebook, take a second to like my page. 

I hope to get back to posting rambling and useless (but funny) tweets now that school’s officially over.  So, you should follow me on Twitter.  I’ll follow you back.

I’ll be back on Monday (heaven definitely has internet, right?).

Look Into My Eyes,

DMTF

Finals. Hole-y Crap. Be Over.

13 May

Dear Readers:

Blah, blah, blah.  Finals suck.  Blah.

Also, thanks for reading.  Blippity, blope.

Twitter.  Follow you back.  Bleeg, blug. Blappy.

Facebook.  Blop biggity.

Blahg.

Ready To Get Courtney Cray-Cray, 

DMTF

In Your Dreams

10 May

This part of my post should be read out loud in a voice and tone that sounds as though you are trying to keep the person behind you from hearing what you’re saying.

Hi:

I want to keep everyone in the loop of what’s been going on in my life lately. Basically, it’s finals time and I’m freaking out.  So, I want to apologize for neglecting the blogs I follow.  I can’t wait to dive in once things calm down a little. 

Also, as my OCD-tendencies will not permit me to not post even though I’m extremely busy and should be doing something else as I type this, posts will be light in content for the next few days.  I apologize in advance for any personal turmoil this may cause you.

That being said, here’s a snippet of a conversation I had with Hubby yesterday:

Hubby:  What’s wrong with you?  You’ve been crabby all day.

Me:  Oh, nothing.  Just stressed about finals, I guess.

Hubby:  No, you’ve been pissy towards me, in particular.  What’s the deal?

Me:  Noth—

Hubby:  Don’t say nothing.

Me:  Fine.  I had a dream last night in which you were a huge a-hole. 

Hubby:  Geeeeezussss!  Not again.  You realize it was just a dream, right?

Me:  I know.  It’s just that you were extremely a-hole-ish. 

Hubby:  It didn’t really happen. 

Me:  Fine.  Forget it.

Hubby:  Knock it off.

Me:  (Crazy person silence)

Hubby:  (Loudly shakes the newspaper he’s been reading and then slams it down).  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry I was mean to you in your dream even though it didn’t really happen and it’s all in your head.  Happy?

Me:  Thanks, love.  I forgive you.

Hubby:  You know…I had a dream last night that you really wanted to give me a BJ.

Me:  There it is.

Just Give Me a Minute…Ok. Thanks.

6 May

Dear Readers:

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  What a week.   I’m so glad it’s over.  Some things happened this week that I hope to blog about sooner rather than later, but since there’s always a chance that a  Boa Flinger is reading,  it will have to wait.

Thank goodness for this blog.  It keeps me sane….sort of.  Ok, nothing really keeps me sane, but I love hearing from you guys.  You always make laugh.

I can’t wait to kick back and relax this weekend, catch up on my favorite blogs, and order Hubby and Son around like slaves, because it’s Mother’s Day this weekend, and that’s what Mother’s Day is all about.  

Thanks to all for reading. Don’t forget to like my Facebook page and follow me on Twitter (I’ll follow you back). 

Feel free to give yourself and the moms in your life the gift of this blog for Mother’s Day.  It’s a gift that keeps on giving. 

Crackin’ the Whip,

DMTF

Smoking Hot Thanks

29 Apr

Dear Readers:

Do you like my wedding hat?

The Royal Wedding was fabulous!  Kate looked beautiful.  Will was a real-life Prince Charming.  Luckily, for the all the single ladies out there, Harry is still on the market.  How cute is he?

I have a knees up party to prepare for, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their time and comments (keep them coming).

Please take a moment to like my Facebook page and follow me on Twitter.  You won’t regret it.  I’m brilliant.

Your English  Rose,

DMTF

Do You Smell That?

15 Apr

Dear Readers:

I’d like to take a moment to remind you that even the most beautiful people in the world can make a face so ugly that you start to see the ugly in them all the time, and that makes me feel good.

As always, thanks for stopping by, leaving comments, and being extremely….cool.

Take a moment to like my Facebook page, follow me on Twitter (I’ll follow you back), and share this website with someone you care about.  It will change their life.  

No.  No it won’t.  But, it might make them laugh?

Have a great weekend.  I hope it’s warmer where you are than it is here, but I hope it rains because you can’t have it all. 

A-hole-ishly Yours,

DMTF

All Hail The Queen

8 Apr

Hiya!

Do you notice anything different about me? 

I’m wearing a new dress, silly.  I bought it for my coronation.  Coronation of what, you ask?  My coronation as QUEEN OF MOTHER F-IN APRIL FOOLS DAY, BEOTHES!

The world has spoken (by “world” I mean the 15 of you who voted)!  My April Fools Day joke was hilarious.  Thank you for agreeing.

Also, thank you for reading the blog.  As always, I appreciate your time.

Don’t forget to like my royal page on Facebook, follow the queen on Twitter (I’ll follow you back), and subscribe to Don’t Make That Face. 

Her Royal Highness,

DMTF