Tag Archives: tattoo

Dee Plane, Boss! Dee Plane!

6 Jun

I have one tattoo.  It’s a small colorful butterfly on the back of my neck.  It was a very trendy design in the 90s, and I’m pretty sure I was wearing ripped jeans, a flannel, and hiking boots while listening to Sublime when I got it, but I wear it with pride.  That little butterfly reminds me of my adolescence, and besides the usual a-holes and bumps in the road I dealt with back then, I have really happy memories from that time in my life.  

I notice tattoos, and I’ve seen a lot of beautiful and a lot of awesomely hideous ones.  Either way, I am always curious about the stories behind every single one of them.  I don’t care if it’s an intricate artsy design or the 90s tribal armband, every tattoo has a story, and I love to hear them.  

I was weeding my garden this weekend when I noticed a man planting flowers along the border of the field across the street.  I don’t know if it was the hot sun or the 3 piña coladas, but from my vantage point, it looked like dude had a huge tramp stamp across the small of his back.

?

My garden would have to wait.  I wouldn’t be able to get anything done all weekend if I didn’t get to the bottom of this.  I didn’t even know guys were allowed to get tramp stamps.  Isn’t there some sort of rule?  I had to be wrong.  It was probably the bottom of some huge back design:

I stood up, wiped my brow, straightened my gardening hat, grabbed my camera (in case it indeed was a *gulp* tramp stamp), and clogged over to the tree in my front yard.  Damn it!  I still couldn’t see clearly enough.  I would have to approach.

I needed an excuse…..TAKEO!  I ran inside, grabbed my dog and his leash and clogged across the street.  The second I set foot on the curb, I dropped the leash knowing full well that Takeo wouldn’t be able to resist the allure of a possible rub down by a complete stranger.

“Don’t worry, he’s harmless!”, I yelled as Takeo ran over to the tatted man.  I hobbled over as fast as my clogs would take me so I could get a good look at the possible  man stamp before the guy stood up.   

I was about 2 feet away before my eyes could focus.  I was frozen dead in my tracks by what appeared to be a dark, billowy, curly, dark, tuft of….hair.

Back Pubes

 Thank goodness it wasn’t a tramp stamp?

Yeah, What She Said

16 Mar

Read what the hilarious Michelle Collins has to say about the a-hole who got this:

Yep. This is real.

Steel Magnolias. I Mean Steel Bars of a Prison Cell.

15 Mar

I was going to save this for What? Wednesday, but I can’t wait.  I’m afraid this video might be a figment of my imagination.  I mean, did I just day-dream this?  This is too good f-in weird to be true.  Pay close attention at the 1:00 mark.  Is there a movie where Julia Roberts plays an ugly guy who wears glasses?  I must have missed that one.

Do any of those tattoos actually look like Julia Roberts?

Appetite for Some Guns…And Roses.

23 Feb

You should know that I’m a huge Guns N’ Roses fan.  In fact, if I ever get another tattoo, I’m pretty sure it would be of some guns…. and some roses.  I might also add a snake curling around the gun  barrels or a dolphin jumping out of the ocean over the guns…and roses.  Please don’t steal my idea.  It’s rude to get the same tattoo as someone else unless it’s the Chinese symbol for what you think is “best friends” but really means “dumbass”.

Juan fits into my What? Wednesday theme because you wouldn’t expect Axl Roses’s voice to come out of this guy.  Also, his name is Juan.

He’s good.  He wouldn’t want to go up against a drunk DMTF on karaoke night at the local dive bar, but I give him props.