Tag Archives: dreams

In Your Dreams

10 May

This part of my post should be read out loud in a voice and tone that sounds as though you are trying to keep the person behind you from hearing what you’re saying.

Hi:

I want to keep everyone in the loop of what’s been going on in my life lately. Basically, it’s finals time and I’m freaking out.  So, I want to apologize for neglecting the blogs I follow.  I can’t wait to dive in once things calm down a little. 

Also, as my OCD-tendencies will not permit me to not post even though I’m extremely busy and should be doing something else as I type this, posts will be light in content for the next few days.  I apologize in advance for any personal turmoil this may cause you.

That being said, here’s a snippet of a conversation I had with Hubby yesterday:

Hubby:  What’s wrong with you?  You’ve been crabby all day.

Me:  Oh, nothing.  Just stressed about finals, I guess.

Hubby:  No, you’ve been pissy towards me, in particular.  What’s the deal?

Me:  Noth—

Hubby:  Don’t say nothing.

Me:  Fine.  I had a dream last night in which you were a huge a-hole. 

Hubby:  Geeeeezussss!  Not again.  You realize it was just a dream, right?

Me:  I know.  It’s just that you were extremely a-hole-ish. 

Hubby:  It didn’t really happen. 

Me:  Fine.  Forget it.

Hubby:  Knock it off.

Me:  (Crazy person silence)

Hubby:  (Loudly shakes the newspaper he’s been reading and then slams it down).  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry I was mean to you in your dream even though it didn’t really happen and it’s all in your head.  Happy?

Me:  Thanks, love.  I forgive you.

Hubby:  You know…I had a dream last night that you really wanted to give me a BJ.

Me:  There it is.

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Smells Like Teen Spirit.

1 Mar

I’m a deep sleeper.  I’ve slept through severe thunderstorms that have made national news, my mother entering my home, doing my dishes and vacuuming while I was asleep in the same room, sex, and a fire two houses down from mine.  The only thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night is my recurring nightmare.

It’s present day, and I’m at my high school (Go Shirts!) walking down the hall towards the gym.  It’s very loud, and I realize there’s a pep rally going on.  I buy a Mike’s Hard Lemonade at the concession stand, and make my way through the gym doors.  This is when things start to get weird. 

There’s a full-blown High School Musical-style pep rally going on.

Gooooo Blackshirts, tra, la, la, la, la.

The doors slam shut behind me,  and I start to get a little nervous.  I begin scanning the crowd for a familiar face.  This part of the dream varies.  People I’ve seen in the crowd include my kindergarten teacher, Matthew McConaughey (Well, hello.), my OB, Prince, an Oopma Loompa, and Jeffery Dahmer (ewwwwww).

Things get a little Twin Peaks when all of a sudden the pep rally goes from “High School Musical” to “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.

Ummm, I'm scared.

Two very tough looking cheerleaders with anarchy symbols on their shirts  pull me to the center of the gym floor, and present me with my very own cheerleading uniform.  

I graciously accept the uniform, but politely decline the invitation to put it on. That’s when they start go get a little pushy.  “PUT IT ON!”, they yell.  “PUT IT ON, NOW!!!”, the audience starts to chant.  The evil cheerleaders start yanking and pulling on my clothes, until I’m standing, almost naked, in the middle of the gym floor, a spotlight blaring on me, and an angry mob yelling at me to put the uniform on. 

But, that’s not what wakes me up.  What wakes me up is when I notice that the uniform….give me second. 

The uniform they want me to put on….sorry. 

The uniform…

*gulp*

 is……..a size 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

That dream always wakes me up “Pulp Fiction adrenaline shot to the heart” style.

It was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.