Tag Archives: bj

In Your Dreams

10 May

This part of my post should be read out loud in a voice and tone that sounds as though you are trying to keep the person behind you from hearing what you’re saying.

Hi:

I want to keep everyone in the loop of what’s been going on in my life lately. Basically, it’s finals time and I’m freaking out.  So, I want to apologize for neglecting the blogs I follow.  I can’t wait to dive in once things calm down a little. 

Also, as my OCD-tendencies will not permit me to not post even though I’m extremely busy and should be doing something else as I type this, posts will be light in content for the next few days.  I apologize in advance for any personal turmoil this may cause you.

That being said, here’s a snippet of a conversation I had with Hubby yesterday:

Hubby:  What’s wrong with you?  You’ve been crabby all day.

Me:  Oh, nothing.  Just stressed about finals, I guess.

Hubby:  No, you’ve been pissy towards me, in particular.  What’s the deal?

Me:  Noth—

Hubby:  Don’t say nothing.

Me:  Fine.  I had a dream last night in which you were a huge a-hole. 

Hubby:  Geeeeezussss!  Not again.  You realize it was just a dream, right?

Me:  I know.  It’s just that you were extremely a-hole-ish. 

Hubby:  It didn’t really happen. 

Me:  Fine.  Forget it.

Hubby:  Knock it off.

Me:  (Crazy person silence)

Hubby:  (Loudly shakes the newspaper he’s been reading and then slams it down).  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry I was mean to you in your dream even though it didn’t really happen and it’s all in your head.  Happy?

Me:  Thanks, love.  I forgive you.

Hubby:  You know…I had a dream last night that you really wanted to give me a BJ.

Me:  There it is.

BREAKING NEWS!

22 Feb

I don’t know if you know this, but it turns out a lot of dudes are fans of the BJ. 

I know Hubby’s a fan.  If he could, I think he would walk around with one of those big foam fingers that say “BJs are #1”  while wearing a replica baseball jersey with “BJ” on the back.  And, I know for a fact that he would stand in a very long line for a BJ bobble head (I’m inventing this) to add to his collection. 

BJs!!! Woooo-Hooooo!

 Unfortunately, Hubby’s diehard (hehe) BJ obsession has resulted in a couple of very annoying habits.   Perhaps you can relate.

First, Hubby has taken to asking for a BJ at least once a day.  It started as a romantic, sexy, whisper in my ear request, and has evolved into an everyday, I don’t even realize I’m asking type of question.   For example:

Me:  Hi, Honey.  How was your day?

Hubby:  It was fine.  But, it would be a lot better if I could get a BJ.  *wink, wink* 

Me:  Honey, your mom is sitting right next to you. 

Hubby: (Turns to mom) Sorry, mom.  (Turns to me).  Soooooooooooooooo?

Yeah, that happened.

The other, more annoying habit is something I like to call the “head push”.  For example, Hubby and I are laying in bed watching a movie, and I reach over to grab the remote, and when my head is directly over Hubby’s chest he pushes my head toward his naughty bits.  Nice. 

Or, while he’s driving I reach down to switch the radio station when all of a sudden I feel his hand pushing down on my head.  Dangerous.

This one’s lovely.  We’re at Son’s school for parent/teacher conferences, in a packed gym, when I reach down to tie my shoe.  All of a sudden, I feel Hubby’s fingertips graze the top of my head.  Really?!

Needless to say, this habit has gotten a bit out of control. 

The other day we’re watching a movie with my brother and sister-in-law when Hubby reaches for his drink on the coffee table.  I couldn’t resist.  I jumped up, stood directly in front of him, grabbed his head in my hands, and gave him a face full of crotch.  I really ground his head in there.  There’s no way he could breathe.  I think he got rug burn on the tip of his nose.  I got a round of applause from my sister-in-law, and touché nod from my brother-in-law.

It was awesome. 

P.S.  Thanks to Hubby for the post idea.  If you wouldn’t have “head pushed” me this morning when I reached over to turn the alarm clock off , I wouldn’t have known what to post about today.  (No, this doesn’t mean you get a BJ tonight.)