Tag Archives: weanies

Hows ‘Bout a Cup A Tea, Gub-ner?

28 Jul

Do you know what you get when you put a bunch of drunk adults who are on vacation, camping, after having spent the entire day at the lake, their stomachs full, and the kids asleep? 

Besides a few who refuse to quit (quitting is for losers), and end up passed out on their camping chair with their mouths open, you get a bunch of drunkies who’ve reverted backed to their 16-year-old selves, and who think that tea bagging those poor passed out souls is hilaaaaaaaaarious.

Pinkies up, ladies and gents

 But, you also get the deep thinkers, like myself, who watch these drunken shenanigans and think, how can we make this better

I leaned over to my friend and in my completely inebriated state said:

Me:  Why do the guys get to have all of the fun?  I say we start meat curtaining people.

Friend:  HAHAHAHAHAH!  Right?!  Let’s do it.

Me:  Yeah, we can get a chair, stand behind them and position ourselves so all you see is a nose.

Peek-a-boo
Friend:  GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YO!
My friend and I must have been talking and laughing a bit too obnoxiously, because when Hubby heard the words “meat curtains” come out of my mouth, he immediately stopped what he was doing, calmly walked over to me, gently grabbed my arm, and sternly told me it was definitely time for bed. 
 
That’s it.  Party over.
 
Geez.   You’d think that he thought I might actually go through with it or something. 
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What? Wednesday- Wienergate. Yawn.

8 Jun

So, yeah.  A few things:

  1. She’s really teasing the hell out of that hot dog. *wink, wink*
  2. Muffins would have had that hot dog down in like 5 seconds.
  3. I can’t get my mind out of the gutter so I’ll stop.

P.S.  I was surprised (no, I wasn’t) to see I have an existing “weanies” tag on this website.

Boobies or No Boobies?

18 Feb

As I’ve mentioned before, the qualifications for being a supermodel  are becoming more and more unattainable for most women. 

Here are singer, Rihanna, and  male model, Andrej Pejic, wearing the same dress:

Boobies

No Boobies

Thanks to JA for the heads up.

Happy Belated VD

16 Feb

Obviously, I mean the good VD, and not the bad VD, because there’s nothing “happy” about the bad VD, my friends.

In order to keep it sexy for VD, and in keeping with my What? Wednesday theme, I introduce you to the “Genus Phallus” or what I like to call The Dick Shroom:

Wow, it really does look like a weenie.

 

There's even a dog weenie mushroom.

 

Hey, little guy

 

What "bad" VD looks like

 

My friend, Beebs, has assured me these things are for real, and they stink.

Hope you had a great VD!

I’ll Never Be a Supermodel. No, Really.

3 Feb

I’m sort of obsessed with models.  My obsession is a carry-over from the 90s era of the supermodel.  As I teenager, I spent many Saturday afternoons listening to George Micheal’s “Freedom” while sitting in front of my bedroom mirror with a month-old issue of Vogue laying next to my open Caboodle trying to figure out what shade of Wet ‘n Wild eye shadow I had would most closely match the one in the picture of Cindy, Naomi, Christy or Kate I was looking at.  The thing that didn’t make this obsession unhealthy was that I was a pretty grounded teenager, and I understood that these women were essentially freaks.

My obsession continues, however, and once in a while I find myself over at style.com checking out the fresh new faces of the season (yes, they’re getting younger and younger).  My most recent search lead me to this beauty:

She’s beautiful, right?  Nothing out of the ordinary here, except………………THIS IS A MAN!  Seriously.  His name is Andrej Pejic, and there is nothing drag queeny about this kid.  He’s straight up beautiful.

I have been vindicated!  I am now positive that the images of fashion models, actresses and other celebrities we’re bombarded with daily are all illusions.  No matter how much you diet, how much you spend (or shoplift) on your clothes, how much make up you have on, how you do your hair, you will never attain the definition of beauty that has been shoveled down our throats, because none of that stuff will make you grow a weenie.