Tag Archives: dating

Can You Hear the Love Blossom?

1 Apr

Remember that night you went out with your friends and got really, really wasted?  You met that really hot person who looked like a beautiful angel in a room full of carnies.  The only reason you had the nerve to approach that beautiful creature was because you had been drinking all night.

The two of you talked for a while, and even though it was super loud and you couldn’t hear a word that person was saying,  you were pretty sure you felt a connection.  At closing time the two of  you exchanged numbers.

On the way home you wouldn’t shut up about that person.  You kept annoying your friends by drunkenly and loudly proclaiming:

No you guys!  You don’t understand!  We had a chemistry.  You knooooooow?  A CONNECTION!

Before dropping you off  your most sober friend grabbed your arm and said something like:

Promise me you won’t call that person until tomorrow.  You’re really drunk.

You managed to slur:

Um hmmmm.  I praaaa *hiccup/burp* praaaaaaaaa mis.

You called anyway, didn’t you?

Nooooo.  It’s fine.  You didn’t sound stupid at all.

Advertisements

My Brother From Another Mother! Err…From the Same Mother?

31 Mar

Meet Sarah and George.  Don’t they make a cute couple?

Adorable

They have an amazing story.   With a couple of divorces between them, and their youth behind them, Sarah and George turned to the internet to find love. As it turns out, Sarah and George had a lot in common.   After months of internet courtship the soul mates decided to meet in person.   It wasn’t long until the couple discovered they share a spanking fetish parents.  Yep.  Sarah and George are brother and sister!

I’ll let that soak in.  Brother and SisterSiblingsBlind dateInternet dating.

Allow me to read in between the lines of the article:

After connecting through an Internet dating service… means

Found each other in a “Hot Mama Seeking Bad, Bad Baby” chat room.

…our relationship blossomed as we emailed each other more and more often… means

Sarah and George had a lot of steamy, sloppy, hardcore, S&M, breathless old people internet sex before they decided to meet in person.  They also have countless of nude photos of each other.

After about an hour of conversation at the White Horse, Bentley’s favorite East Ham pub, the two would-be lovers realized they were actually siblings.means

It had been so long since either Sarah or George had actual real sex that they decided to meet at the local Super 8 to do the deed before either of them lost their nerve.  George took his pill, Sarah popped in a VHS cassette tape of a 70’s porn, and they proceeded to have frantic old people sex together.  Unfortunately, Sarah has a bad hip and George has a bum knee so they did it on a chair.   *Pause for visual*

Then, they went for a beer and….well….uncovered the whole brother/sister thing. 

Awwwwwwwkwarrrrrrd.