Lost in Translation

21 Apr

My next door neighbors growing up were a sweet old couple named Ines and Charlie.  They didn’t have kids of their own, but I always felt they would have made wonderful grandparents.

My parents have thick Spanish accents so when they say “Ines” you hear “Anus”.  So, until I was about 8 years old I thought our neighbors were Anus and Charlie. 

My sisters and I tried to correct my parents pronunciation, but after a while we gave up.  Besides, what kid wouldn’t love a neighbor named “Anus”, especially when it meant hearing stuff like this:

Anus made you girls some cookies.  I know how much you love Anus cookies! (Yummmm?)

You girls smell like you’ve been at Anus’s.   (Charlie smoked pipes.)

One of you girls should weed Anus’s garden for her. (No thanks.)

Did your father mow Anus’s lawn?  It’s getting pretty thick. Why are you laughing? (Obvious.)

I need you take this soup to Anus.  She isn’t feeling well and has been throwing up all day. (Anus puking.  *Pause for visual*)

I don’t think Anus should be driving, anymore.  (Why? Is her stink eye getting bad?)

 Anus passed away not too long ago, and I miss her.  I miss sweet, sweet, Anus.

R.I.P. Anus Ines.



17 Responses to “Lost in Translation”

  1. mairedubhtx April 21, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    Rest in peace, Ines.

  2. Mutterschwester April 21, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    You might appreciate a show on HDNet called Svetlana (http://www.hd.net/). We found it last night and were smirking and doing the guilty-side-long-are-you-laughing-too thing. It’s filmed like a porn, which is confusing on many levels. Not that I know how porns are filmed or anything.

  3. Thypolar April 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    Awww. RIP Ines. I love how accents can cause humor in the most unexpected places 🙂

  4. Craig & Joe Ardolino April 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    You crack me up! I love coming to this site!! I’ve added you to my faves so others can enjoy your site too 🙂 So glad I subscribed to you.

    • Don't Make That Face April 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

      Awww. You’re so sweet! Thanks for adding me to your faves. I love checking out what you have going on, too.

  5. Sweetrivers April 21, 2011 at 4:27 pm #

    Even though it’s a humorous post I can feel the warm sentiment that you have for her and Charlie. It sounds like you had lots of good memories. May you continue to make good memories in your life.

  6. Jeane April 21, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    What a hysterical humor you have…I am so glad to have found you. I can tell you will keep me laughing. I am sure Ines is giggling a little at the moment and missing you back.

    • Don't Make That Face April 21, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

      Thanks for finding me! I can’t wait to read what you’re all about.
      Ines had a great sense of humor. I’m sure she’s laughing.

  7. LA Juice April 21, 2011 at 8:18 pm #

    struggling not to say ” you – miss – uranus” because I am an adult and its not proper to make fun of the dead. sigh.

  8. Jean C. April 22, 2011 at 12:52 am #

    I have awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award!

    • Don't Make That Face April 22, 2011 at 9:19 am #

      REALLY? Thank you! ummmm, what does that mean? Do I win anything? 🙂

      • Invisible Mikey April 22, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

        It’s like a chain letter. You reveal 7 personal secrets and plug 7 other blogs or else you will be cursed and possibly become less versatile I guess.

      • Don't Make That Face April 22, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

        Oh man. The pressure.

  9. Redneckprincess April 22, 2011 at 1:11 am #

    hehehehe…and it was funny 🙂

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