I really, really enjoy April Fool’s Day. Growing up, my Wuelita (read about her here and here) would call me, and in her most serious sounding voice, would tell me that either someone had died:
Joo reemembair my fren, Mrs. Ruiz? Well….she drown in dee bath eating a sanwish.
APRIL FOOL!!!!!!!
or she was in the hospital:
Sweedy? Is joo Wuelita. *cough, cough* I no feel so goo. I am going to die.
APRIL FOOL!!
As you can see, she’s hilariously inappropriate. I love it.
I played a prank on my family a couple of years ago that I still get flack for.
I set my alarm clock for 2:37 a.m on April Fools Day Eve. It went off only once. I got up, and started yelling that there was a fire in the house, and that I had called 911. I ran into my Son’s room, turned on the light, threw a shirt at him and screamed at him to get the dog and get out. Hubby shot out of bed, and ushered everyone outside into the cold dark morning. So, there we were, standing outside (I’m the only one in a jacket) when I yelled “April Fools!”
My son rolled his eyes and mumbled “What’s wrong with you?” as he dragged himself back up the stairs. Hubby stood there staring at me trying to process what had happened. He silently handed me the dog’s leash, shook his head, and went back bed, but not before giving our bedroom door a good slam.
I. Was. Dying. I couldn’t help it. I was Queen of April Fools Day. It was the best prank ever.
All Hail the Mother F-in Queen
I got a call from my mom (Son had tattled) a few hours later wherein she proceeded to scold me. Hubby didn’t talk to me all day. All I got from him was a disapproving look and an occasional “What the hell is wrong with you?” look. Although I giggled to myself all day whenever I thought about it, I had to admit that towards the end of the day I started to feel a little guilty. I decided I needed to apologize. I gathered my family in the living room and was just about to give my heartfelt (sort of) apology when the phone rang. It was Wuelita. I told her everything. We died laughing. She’s awesome.
Some people say I took things a little too far. But, to be honest, every time I tell this story I laugh. I try to be sorry, but I can’t. What do you think?
Don't Make That Face 
I voted ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’, but only because if you woke MY ass up for a fake fire, I would bathe you in my wrath.
I like April Fools’ day too, though. My goddaughter (5) got me the other day. She held her hand out as if to offer me something, and said “Would you like an invisible cracker?” I said “Yes!” And she said “April Fool! There is no invisible cracker.”
That is too cute. It sounds like with a little nurturing and good humor she could grow up to be totally wicked (in a completely awesome way, of course).
P.S. I totally get your vote. I am beastly when awakened. BEASTLY.
What’s awesome is that there totally IS an invisible cracker. How would we know? It’s invisible!
If you ask me, she’s brilliant. Kids, in general, are the funniest people I know. They’re completely honest and call you out on your bull more than anyone else.
You are EVIL and I LOVE it! My husband would have killed me…or divorced me. haha!
It’s funny you should mention that. I just got a call from him. He said “Saw your post. I’m pissed off all over again. What the hell is wrong with you?!”
I love the evil genius that you are. Thanks for the idea!
*bowing down*
muaaaaaaaaaaaah! That’s my eveel laugh.
LOL! That’s priceless! I’m so doing it next year!
I can’t wait to show my husband these comments and results. He can suck it because I knew it was hilarious! I KNEW IT!
I can’t vote – I’m equally torn between the two choices. If you hadn’t told them there was a fire I would have voted you queen because the rest of the plan was brilliant. On the other hand, I can’t figure out anything else to get people out of bed, so I can’t quite condemn you either…
Quite a conundrum, isn’t it? This is why I had to put it to a vote. I mean, I’m pretty sure the prank was hilarious, but I need validation for Hubby’s sake. Basically, I want to rub his nose in it. Have I mentioned I’m an a-hole?
Ok. What if you HAD to vote? You have to chose…..
hilarious! The version of that in my house, though, would have been me and the one other person who will wake up easily and without basically being doused in water trying desperatley to drag comatose sleepers out of their beds while they clung to the mattresses and kicked at our faces. The dog would have helped by being full of barking and excitedness lol.
lol! My dog definitely hepled, but I think it was because he though he was getting an early morning walk. Thanks for reading.
oooohhhh….. SO torn on this one. on the one hand, brilliant AFD joke. on the other hand, i would have been so pissed because fire is one of my hugest fears. i mean huge. however, if you were playing the joke on me, you would know that, so you surely would have opted for some other reason i absolutely had to get out of bed. so that can’t be used against you.
which begs the question of why i would have been in bed with you in the first place, seeing as we don’t know each other and probably live miles and miles apart [sister wife?].
see how i tried to change the subject so i wouldn’t have to actually decide how to vote? diabolical, i know.
but seriously. your husband knew you liked practical jokes when he married you, right? so really i’d say he has no cause to be angry. unless of course he’s reading this, in which case his anger is totally justified.
did i mention i’m really bad at decisions?
LOL! I was with you on this entire ride. Very funny.
P.S. You still have to vote. Quit avoiding the subject.
i’m not avoiding the – what’s that? coming honey!
ok, ok. i vote that you are the queen of AFD! but only because i think you’re hilarious. truthfully, i can’t stand AFD because i am secretly terrified that someone’s going to play a joke on me that will make me look foolish and stupid. sad i know, but there you have it. 😦
I think doing that kind of thing 1 day a year is totally acceptable.
What’s wrong with being an A-hole? I fail to see the problem.
By the way: I HEART this blog.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being an a-hole. Apparently, that’s my problem. Glad you like the blog. You make me laugh.
Don’t let them bring you down! I laughed out loud (notice I didn’t say LOL, so it must be true)! Awesome.
I know! I’ve already proclaimed myself the mother f-in Queen of April Fool’s Day. Seriously, that’s what I’ve been calling myself all week. Thanks for reading.
I gotta admit that this is hilarious and I will remember this post for a long time but… on the other hand it was disrespectful of your families feeling. Any who would play a joke like that one me I would never talk to again after punching them in the face. I never have liked practical jokes the hurt others. So I can understand how funny it was and you should keep that funny memory but maybe feel some guilt for doing something mean to the family you love. Just trade. Laugh one minute than feel guilty the next. That’s just my opinion but it did sound very funny the way you wrote it. I could just picture everything. I take it you had to sleep on the couch that night?
I couldn’t stop laughing, and I felt guilty about that. Keep reading my blog, and you’ll realize that I’m sort of an a-hole. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a pretty nice person for the most part, but admit I can be a d-bag. Case in point, I have a huge grin on my face just thinking about this joke. I’m still not that sorry.
Looks like you got your checkmate then. lol