What? Wednesday- Are You Trying to Disrupt the Space/Time Continuum?!

27 Jul

Is that $3000 2011 American Dollars or $3000 Little House on the Prairie American Dollars?

Listen up, Greg.  Time travel is no joke.  I have a special place in my a-hole-ish Flux Capicitor-shaped heart for Doc Brown that pumps 1.21 gigawatts of blood through it everyday which means I take the space/time continuum very, very seriously.  I don’t think Marty McFly would appreciate you sending some possible reefer addict to the past and ruining the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance.   

Also, what’s up with the sexism? 

My advice?  Make the inaugural time travel trip yourself, find your past self, work together to get your present self laid, therefore ensuring that your future self won’t be such a  douche bag.

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14 Responses to “What? Wednesday- Are You Trying to Disrupt the Space/Time Continuum?!”

  1. But That's For Another Blog July 27, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    Please tell me you replied to his advertisment with the above… cause it’s BRILLIANT!!

    • Don't Make That Face July 27, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

      I’m afraid to reply. I’m sure Greg has a way to track my IP address and stalk my future self…or my past self? I don’t get it.

  2. Miz Parker July 27, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    This article made me sad.

    http://dvice.com/archives/2011/07/chinese-physici.php

  3. detrimentalbeauty July 27, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    Greg is right – He is no moron…. Just a giant ass monkey. It is amazing what can be found on craigslist…. I wonder how many responses he’s received… I hope they find the dog!

    • Don't Make That Face July 27, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

      I know. That poor dog. The bright side is that Greg’s mom, in trying to spare her son the devastation of the realization that his life’s work may be a bunch of bologna, probably sent the dog to live with Greg’s Aunt, Mable.

  4. marinasleeps July 27, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

    Greg needs to get laid!
    I laughed when he said dogs don’t know how to do rendezvous!
    That was actually quite funny!

    Great respond! Poor geek … but for some reason I am picturing Greg to resemeble Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory.

  5. drudydavis July 27, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

    Gah what’s greg’s deal with not wanting to send chicks back in time. What a jerk. I think Greg’s mom needs to pull the plug on his basement adventures in time and buy him the Back to the Future Box set.

    • Don't Make That Face July 27, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

      I know! This is why he needs to get laid. And, if he doesn’t own that box set yet, then I don’t know how he could have possibly even started to invent a time machine. There’s so much to learn about in that movie. For example, does Greg know to take a picture from the present with him when he goes back in time? How else will he be able to gage his level of interference with the future. Rookie.

  6. Pkitass July 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm #

    I wanted to call but you blurred the phone number.
    Could you please forward the number to me.

    Thanks
    Future time travler

    • Don't Make That Face July 28, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

      Unfortunately, the number was blurred out when I found the ad. The only thing you can do is hope that somehow your future self traveled to the past, found Greg, got his number and left if for you in some clever place where your present self can find it.

  7. Thypolar August 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

    AMEN. That is all.

  8. Craig & Joe Ardolino August 17, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    Actually, on a scientific side, a woman is built better than a man. It is a fact that a woman’s body can tolerate a greater amount of stress when subjected to gravity, breaking the sound barrier and space missions. The first time-traveler should also be female because when it comes right down to it, women are more level-headed.

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