The Importance of a Safe Word

27 Jun

Someone found my blog by searching “spanking nipple twisting your girlfriend”. 


First of all, although I don’t mind a firm smack to the ass in the right situation, I’m not a fan of rough sex.  Scratch that.  I’m not a fan of the nipple twist/pinch. 

My safe word is "Back the F&*K off, F*$&ER."

I’m reminded of an interesting story that happened to a “friend” 


Let me skip to the moral of the story:

Guys, when a woman says she likes it rough, always, always, always, start things off with a gentle nipple pinch.  She’ll let you know right away with either a coy laugh or a punch to the nuts what she means by “rough”.

There’s no need to thank me.


27 Responses to “The Importance of a Safe Word”

  1. Nicole, the Queen of this life June 27, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

    HA! That’s awesome.

    One of the searches that found my blog? “searching for inner peace now go the fuck away”

    Thought that was interesting.

  2. marinasleeps June 27, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    I guess you can say I like it rough. I like my hair pulled and smack on the behind is nice. But if you go near my nipples I will gut you like a pig! A pig!!!
    And there we have it.

    • Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

      That’s me. I can go from rocking your world to ending it in a matter of seconds.

      • marinasleeps June 27, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

        Right! Kinda like God huh? Totally.

  3. Mutterschwester June 27, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    Wow. That’s some search! The coolest search term I’ve seen on my blog is this: ՎԻՌԳԻՆՍՍ.ՆԵՏ

    No idea what it means, but it’s really pretty.

    After that it’s “thick eyebrows will make you look younger.” Maybe I need to get a little more wild when posting.

  4. Amy June 27, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    Yes, there is a fine line between “oh yes, like that” to a punch in the nuts. Unlike a radio, the reception doesn’t get better the more you twist.

  5. Laurie Kendrick June 27, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    What’s rough, exactly? For me, that depends on my mood…and his. It’s safe to say that on any given day, I like what I term “expressive sex”. In other words, the degrees to which I like…or don’t like the sex that’s being afforded me, will be expressed in no uncertain terms. Then there are those proverbial salad days. When I like it mixed (and no, not tossed) in this melange of gentle and passionate, then in mere seconds, it can get all down and dirty and as simian-like as possible.

    As for nipple twisting or torquing…sure.

    Someone once found my blog via “lesbian reach around”. Odd because I’m straight with very short arms.

    Enjoyed your post.


    • Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

      You’re hilarious.
      Also, please know that I am an equal opportunity lover and it doesn’t matter if you have long or short arms.

      • Laurie Kendrick June 27, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

        You are too kind. Gracias a lot.

        I just re-read what I wrote in my comment. I can only envision the vision that it created with the short arms comment.

        You must think me one of two things:

        A) a thalidimide baby OR…..

        B)..The product of an unholy union between a T-Rex and Mrs. Matt Roloff.

        You’re funny yourself. I’ll be back.


      • Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

        lol! I was definitely imagining option B…with a fetal arm sticking out of the forehead.

    • Crystal June 27, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

      That last part cracked me up! Just sayin!

  6. brainforthought June 27, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    Somehow my blog showed up when someone searched “caught masturbating”. I think those two words appear somewhere in however many thousand words I have published. Hopefully, my entries were helpful to the person searching. I doubt it though.

    • Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

      That was my search, too. Sorry. But, yes, I got lots of advice from your blog. I found your advice on getting caught masterbating at the bank drive through. Remember? You said to pretend to have dropped a quarter in the slot? Thanks. 🙂

      • brainforthought June 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

        Yep. That’s a classic. If I help but one masturbater, then my life has meaning.

  7. Brown Road Chronicles June 27, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

    That’s too funny! I feel better now knowing that mine isn’t the only site that is attracting creepy, sex deprived weirdos. I’ve had some pretty crazy search terms as well which I won’t repeat here. Some you’re not sure if you should contact the FBI or something!

    • Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

      Yes. If in doubt, contact the FBI. Also, if you don’t know what you should put down on your taxes, you should guess. The government will just be happy that you tried.

      Just kidding of course. If there are any FBI agents or IRS employees reading this, I’m totally kidding. No need to reopen my file.

  8. June 27, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

    Yep…that’ll do it! Ha..ha..

  9. accidentalstepmom June 27, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    This week I got “peeeing poncho girl” (yes, with three e’s). I know it’s not you because you would’ve spelled it right.

  10. Redneckprincess June 27, 2011 at 11:30 pm #

    I have had Redneck with nearly every single perverted word you can think of added to it…people are messed up, just saying…

    As for the rough sex part, probably just better if I walk away from that one…

  11. fnkybee June 28, 2011 at 8:43 am #

    You win the craziest search term award! haha!

  12. June 28, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    Hahaha! I think I just peed my pants. Hilarious. Everyday somebody finds my blog by searching “Kate Middletons armpits.” Crazy.

  13. irratebass June 29, 2011 at 8:34 am #

    This made me chuckle heh

  14. Anonymous Betty June 29, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    Too funny … and it is good advice. Start off gently and then take it from there because sometimes we’re just not in the mood to be thrown up against the wall, ya know? 🙂

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