Summer is….Precious

16 Jun
It’s a beautiful day in Wisconsin.  I’m wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. 
 
At lunch, I went outside to get some fresh air and stretch.  As I bent over to stretch my back and touch my toes, I noticed that in the bright afternoon sunlight I could clearly see a stray hair on my big toe.  (If you don’t have this problem and can’t relate, you’re perfect and I don’t think we can be friends.)
 
Normally, I wouldn’t care, and would just take care of it when I got home.  However, after work I’m heading straight to a parent meeting at Son’s school where I will most likely be sitting next to Mrs. Manicured-Pedicured-Real Coach Purse-Escalade-McPriss. You know the type.
 
So, being the McGyver McGruber I am, I made a bee line for my tape dispenser and applied several strips of tape to the problem area. 
 
Nothing.  It didn’t even hurt.
 
Naturally, I moved on to the packing tape.   That stuff is heavy-duty and sticky.  
 
Nope.  Nada.
 
At this point I started to panic a little because I really didn’t want to go this parent meeting with hobbit feet. 
 

Classy

 
Just then, I remembered I had a band-aid in my purse. 
 
♪♫Awwwwwwesooooooome!♪♫
 
Everyone knows that a band-aid can rip the s*!t out of your hair/skin. 
 
It totally worked.  And it really hurt.
 
P.S.  Why didn’t I  just cover my toe with the band-aid?  Because I’m much to classy to walk around with a band-aid on my foot.  Sheesh. 
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15 Responses to “Summer is….Precious”

  1. Invisible Mikey June 16, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    I would have begun with duct tape, but I guess that’s a guy thing…

  2. irratebass June 16, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    Very funny, good stuff…..I was waiting for you to sing the “I am stuck on band-aids, coz band aids stuck on me” song.

  3. Bullshit and Blasphemy June 16, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    Although I love summer, it is super annoying to have to worry about body hair!

  4. claire June 16, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    I actually keep a pair of tweezers in my purse for exactly this, and the stray chin/cheek hair I always seem to discover while driving, of all things.

    http://www.theundertoad.com

  5. Pkitass June 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    Why wouldn’t you just pluck it?

  6. Mutterschwester June 16, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    No scotch tape was going to take out one of those toe hairs! Good going on the band-aid. I’m dreading the body hair control for the summer.

    During my kid’s soccer class today, I noticed a woman’s legs were TOTALLY hairless and smooth. And she didn’t have red bumps or any signs of trauma on them either. What’s up with that? Do that many people really get all of their legs waxed?

    • Don't Make That Face June 16, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

      See, this is proof that someone would have noticed. 🙂

      I would like to know her secret. The minute I get goose bumps, that’s it.

      • KristenSays June 16, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

        i’m pretty sure her legs were fake. and if they weren’t, you might want to look into having her killed.
        [i will deny i ever said that]

      • pissykittyslitterbox.com June 17, 2011 at 11:52 am #

        Oh, noooo….goosebumps are the worst! Nothing’s more attractive then a pair of sandpaper legs to go along with that cute, short’s outfit you’re wearing.
        I always wanted to go in for a complete waxing all the way up to my ‘hoo-ha’–sans the ‘hoo-ha’ area, cause I ain’t wearing no paper thong, and no one is playing with my back door entrance–but you gotta practically sell a kidney to afford it nowadays. Who has a hundred bucks to get their freaking legs waxed every couple/few weeks? Yikes!

      • Don't Make That Face June 17, 2011 at 12:51 pm #

        It is expensive, and painful.

  7. accidentalstepmom June 17, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

    I never would have thought about a bandaid. That’s a good idea. I would have used my Kershaw (knife).

    • Don't Make That Face June 17, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

      Nice. I need to start carrying around a Kershaw…in my spur-heeled boots.

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