R.I.P. Manny Lopes

14 Jun

There was a homicide in Milwaukee the other night.  Homicide is not funny.    I realize this.  But…

Hubby sent me a text message early Monday morning which read:

Manny Lopes killed @ eastside bar early Sun a.m.  Was a musician. early 30s.  Weird.

My heart sank.  My brother-in-law’s best friend’s name is Manny.  He has two young children.  He plays the drums.  Occasionally, he’ll check out local bands at area bars. 

I immediately called my sister and left the following message:

Hi!  Sorry for calling so early.  What am I saying?  You have two kids.  Of course you’re up.  Anywho, got a strange text from Hubby this morning.  I guess someone named Manny Lopez was shot at an Eastside bar last night.  He’s in his early 30s, has two kids, is a musician.  Weird, right?  You don’t think it’s N’s (her husband) friend, do you?  Anyway, call me when you get this. 

Also, I need my cake stand back.  I think I’m going to make bakery-pretty cupcakes tonight.  Treats always look prettier sitting on a cake stand. 

I then went about my day and headed to work.  I soon noticed I had 3 missed calls from my sister and thought, “She can’t find the cake stand.”, but then remembered about Manny.  Oops.  I thought I had better call her back. 

Sis:  Hello?

Me:  Hi!  What’s up?

Sis:  What do you mean, what’s up?  I’ve been trying to call you about Manny all morning.  Where did you hear about it?

Me:  Hubby texted me this a.m.  Do you think it’s him?

Sis:  I hope not.  I’ve been Googling it all morning and can’t find anything.  What are the chances, though?  Same name, occupation, I feel sick.   I have your cake stand by the way.  You should’ve taken it when you were here this weekend.

Me:  I totally forgot about it until I decided I was going to try to make beautiful cupcakes.  Bakery pretty.  Don’t tell N until you know for sure. 

Sis: I already left N a message.  That’s him on the other line.  Making pretty cupcakes requires patience.  You will fail.  I’ll call you back.  I’ll call you back. 

At lunch, I call her back.

Me:  Sooooo.  What did you find out?

Sis:  Nothing!  I can’t find anything about the shooting online.  N called back.  He’s really worried.  He’s called Manny about 100 times and there’s no answer.  His wife doesn’t answer, either.  I feel sick.

Me:  Let me check Facebook.  If anyone knows anything it will be all over Facebook.  I want to make the frosting for the cupcakes from scratch.  Buttercream.  Mmmmmm.  I’ll call you back.

Later that afternoon, she calls me back:

Sis:  What the H?!  You were suppose to call me back.

Me:  I’m at work.  I got busy. (I got totally sidetracked searching online for a really delicious buttercream frosting recipe).

Sis:  Check now.  I’ll hold.

Me:  Damn it!  We’re not friends on Facebook.  I can’t see his page. He has a really cute profile picture, though.

Sis:  What does that mean?!  You know I don’t have Facebook.

Me:  You should really get it.  You don’t have to friend people you don’t want to.  You can friend just family if you want.  People only read what you put on there.  Besides, there are pictures of you all over Facebook anyway.  You might as well join.

Sis:  It’s the principal.  I just use N’s.  I gotta go.  The baby is stuck under the couch.

The minute I walk in the door from work I give Hubby the third degree about where he got his information.  What time? What channel?  Why is he listening to that station?  They’re morons.  I’m making cupcakes.  I want them to be very pretty.  I’m going to take my time.  Make my own frosting.  Doesn’t that sound sooo good?

After spending about an hour on my bakery-pretty cupcakes, I check my phone.  One missed call, and a voicemail message:

Hi.  How are the cupcakes going?  *snicker* So, just wanted to let you know that Manny Lopez is alive and well.  He and his family were at the zoo all day. Make sure you send your Hubby my thanks for the heart attack he gave us.  Geez.  *chuckle* I gotta go.  I can hear the baby, but I can’t see him.  He’s probably stuck under the couch, again.

I hesitantly check my text message from earlier that morning:

Manny Lopes killed @ eastside bar early Sun a.m.  Was a musician. early 30s.  Weird.

 Oops.  My bad. Let me make it up to you, Sis.

Soooooooory.

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23 Responses to “R.I.P. Manny Lopes”

  1. detrimentalbeauty June 14, 2011 at 1:11 pm #

    Definitely “Bakery Pretty.” Babies under couches are always fun too.

  2. Nicole, the Queen of this life June 14, 2011 at 1:49 pm #

    LOL
    I love your bakery cupcake. I’m sure you could find one just like it in a bakery around Halloween sometime.
    Also, great story.

  3. irratebass June 14, 2011 at 2:59 pm #

    This was great!!!! Thanks for sharing.

    “I gotta go. The baby is stuck under the couch.” Priceless

  4. Mutterschwester June 14, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    I’ve had a few of those “oh my god I have two thirds of the information and I think it might be really bad.” It’s only been really bad once so far.

    NICE cupcakes. Gooey goodness.

    • Don't Make That Face June 14, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

      The thing is, I totally blew the entire thing out of proportion and then left my sister to deal with the mess while I went about my day. I’m such an a-hole!

  5. pissykittyslitterbox.com June 14, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    Yeah, you gotta be careful about that misspelling shit.
    That reminds me of when I was looking up a number in my husbands second phone for him while he was at work, and as I was going through the H’s I came across the name Hasoos. Who the hell is that? After I gave him the number he was asking for I spelled the name out to him and asked him if it was someone new at work. He says, “You know who that is. My buddy who’s family owns the Mexican restaurant in the city.” I swear I almost wet my pants laughing and pissed him off royally. I told him, “That’s spelled J.e.s.u.s.” “What are you talking about?” he asked me. I laughed again. “Jesus is pronounced Hasoos in Spanish!”
    Okay, I didn’t marry him for his brains. It was sheet-tag baby, all the way!

    • Don't Make That Face June 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm #

      HAHAHAHAH! This is hilarious. Seriously. I had a friend who used to call a fellow classmate Zeus, as in “Hey, Zeus”. ahahahah. Hasoos is way better. My code name, should I ever need one, will be Hasoos.

  6. momfog June 14, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    I love how you went about your day, talking about facebook, cupcakes, cake stands, and the like, convincing yourself all was well. Such a human response to potential grief. Poor Mr. Lopes. That bakery pretty cupcake rocks.

    • Don't Make That Face June 14, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

      Yeah right! You’re just being nice. It was the kindergarten to your P.H.D. level decorated cupcake. 🙂

  7. MNLL June 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    Really?? That’s your best bakery cupcake? Thank goodness I didn’t have you make them for my wedding 🙂

    ~your lil sis

    • Don't Make That Face June 14, 2011 at 4:36 pm #

      Lol! I don’t have an artistic bone in my body. You’ve seen my Christmas cookies. Not all of us can be natural born decorators. It’s why my kid always wanted the cookie you decorated and would leave you with the frosting soaked, sprinkle encrusted fugly cookies. 🙂

  8. marinasleeps June 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    Still it was funny … I laughed like crazy.

    Soooo those cupcakes.. did they come out good or what?

    • Don't Make That Face June 14, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

      If I closed my eyes while eating one of the cupcakes, they tasted gourmet. But, they also looked like I decorated them with my eyes closed.

  9. mairedubhtx June 14, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    I’m glad it wasn’t your sister’s husband’s friend, but feel sorry for the Manny who was killed.

  10. Redneckprincess June 14, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    Dude…those cupcakes rock, seriously…

  11. accidentalstepmom June 17, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    This is freaking hilarious. And, I heart your cupcakes. Cupcake shops are the new virus around here. You need to open a cupcake shop selling terrifying cupcakes like that. I will buy them.

    • Don't Make That Face June 17, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

      It’s all about cupcakes here, too. Sometimes they are too beautiful to eat. I mean, I eat them, but they’re really pretty. I have no artistic ability whatsoever so I don’t know what would make me think I could replicate one at home.

      Confession: That is not a picture of my cupcake. This cupcake turned out much prettier than mine. I didn’t think to take a picture of my cupcakes because I could barely get one frosted before stuffing it in my mouth.

  12. But That's For Another Blog June 17, 2011 at 6:57 pm #

    Ok first off, You are hilarious!! Second, I have these type of conversations daily and was begining to worry that there may be something wrong with me, NOW I feel so much better about myself.

    • Don't Make That Face June 17, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

      Why, thank you. Also, if you ever feel like you’re going nuts or that you’re weird, check in here. You’ll feel much better about yourself.

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