Your Comments Make Me Better

6 May

As most of you know, I love reading your comments.  You guys are funny, and I love to laugh.  

Here are some of my all-time favorite spam comments:

Nolan Drehobl at Schley10951@gmail.com had this to say in response to my Lost in Translation post in which I talk about buttholes and Spanish accents:

I’m still studying from you, while I’m trying to reach my goals. I easily love reading all that is written on your blog. Keep the stories coming. I loved it!

Nolan, why are you studying buttholes from me?  I’m not an expert. I don’t really know much about my own butthole.  I don’ t feel comfortable teaching you about my anus.  I hope you reach your butthole goal, but you’re going to have to study from another ass master. Good luck, though.

Promotional items at aooce@aol.com was really impressed with my Earth Day post in which I make Mother Earth sound like a drunk floozy.  This is what Promotional Items had to say:

This is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to know about this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

Thanks, Promotional Items!  Although I’m no anus expert, I do consider myself an Earth Day guru.  Also, punctuation much?  And, no, you wouldn’t want to argue with me.  I’d cut you.  (HaHa). 

Here’s a comment from Tnfgkgag at puqywd@nkinjc.com regarding my No Old Woman No Cry post in which I bitch about a night out with my sisters:

RNvHWl nnhusabgodsv, [url=http://lpypbmdiitrn.cadl/]lpypbmdiitrn[/url], [link=http://ibeqnwipijqq.cox/]ibeqnwipijqq[/link], http://dsntfsdlgordcom/

That may be true, Tnfgkgag.  Don’t forget, however, that an indefinite military presence isn’t very practical for long-term peace.  

Finally, here’s what Miami Beach Condos at Fukuda8@gmail.com (I like what you did there) said about my Excuse Me, I Have to Poop post about someone I was dying to get away from at party:

I just check the demographics of Miami dade Fl it looks like there less and less foreclosures every month . In 3 Years In febuary we finnally saw it be less than 1000 .

Excuse me, Miami Beach Condos, but I have to poop.

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13 Responses to “Your Comments Make Me Better”

  1. Invisible Mikey May 6, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    I think your post about spammers is even funnier than mine:
    http://invisiblemikey.wordpress.com/2011/03/04/oy-gespammen-ach-ptui/

    BTW, did you know natural colon-cleansers can increase your stamina? Check it out: http://coloncleanserreview.net

    • Don't Make That Face May 6, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

      I loved that post, Mikey. And, no, mine is not funnier.
      What is funnier, however, is that…you’re not going to believe this…your comment was flagged as spam! LOL! Classic.
      Also, thanks for the tip on the colon-cleansers. I’m crossing my fingers that Hubby and Son haven’t gotten me a Mother’s Day gift yet.

  2. danielle May 6, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    Must be wordpress stalkers! I got those same comments (not the Miami one) word for fucking word. Awesome.

    Although, I do feel a little special. I meant someone or something took that extra step to include me in their spamming.

    Here’s to shitty comments!

    • Don't Make That Face May 6, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

      Wait. What do you mean you got those same comments? I don’t understand. These comment were obviously written specifically for my posts. I don’t understand how they could possibly apply to anything else.

  3. bobcb518 May 6, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    I’ve gotten that Miami dade demographics comment so many times that I stopped counting. I’m sure it’s way up in the 30’s somewhere.

    I adore how the spammy people love my posts, and learn so much from them. They seem to have learned so much from even the most obnoxious and idiotic crap, I mean stuff, that I have posted. It’s just so hard to believe that they’re all BIG FAT LIARS.

    • Don't Make That Face May 6, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

      I’m just soooo happy that I have been able to enlighten so many people about so many things. I feel like I have a purpose in life and that if I were to stop blogging today, so many people would be so lost. I don’t even like to think about it.

  4. Sweetrivers May 6, 2011 at 1:19 pm #

    I haven’t gotten the Miami condo span yet. I know I will have made it as a blogger if I get the condo spam.

  5. accidentalstepmom May 6, 2011 at 6:50 pm #

    This made me laugh so hard my tummy hurts. I tried to do a sit-up today, that may also have something to do with it. I got a shitload of the Miami ones, BUT- have you gotten the ten-page manifesto about how the gods have no genitals? I’m totally bummed that I deleted it now. It did NOT get caught in my spam filter, but your comment on my tooth fairy post did. Go figure. Thanks for making my laugh and also hurting me.

    • Don't Make That Face May 9, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

      That’s why I don’t even bother sit-ups….or push ups…or walking faster than necessary. It hurts.
      If you ever get that spam comment again, I must see it. It sounds wondeful.

  6. jaerae1971 May 7, 2011 at 6:19 am #

    I like the spam, sometimes it’s the only comments I get. I pretend they’re big fans of mine.

  7. Pkitass May 9, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    I really do enjoy what you write on this subject. Nice writing I’m sure to be coming here more often-
    Spammer

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