Word Verification- Are You F-in With Me?

15 Apr

I was just about to shut down my work computer for the day when I realized I had forgotten to pay a bill.

Mission:  Submit my payment online by 5:00 p.m. or face an insane late-payment charge.  It was 4:55 p.m.

I navigated to  the site.  I needed to log in.  I generally use one of three passwords when paying my bills online (shhhh123, ecullen1, and  moneyfromarock69) but I couldn’t remember which one I use for this particular site.  There was no time to dick around.    WHICH ONE DO I USE?!!   It was 4:56.

*Wipes brow on shirt*

I chose correctly!   I was in, and on my game.  I knew exactly where to go, what to click, and the information I needed had been saved from my previous transaction.  I was feeling good.  It was 4:57.

A final quick glance at the information to make sure I didn’t miss a decimal point or add an extra zero, and I was ready to click on “Submit Payment”.  It was still 4:57.

The confirmation page was taking a little longer to load than I would have liked, but that’s usually the case when submitting an online payment.  No worries.  I clicked “Submit Payment”.  No take-backs.  They had to accept my payment.  Right?  It was 4:58.

The confirmation page finally loaded!  Thank you, Jesus.

Then, I saw it.  My stomach hit the floor, my heart dropped, and my ears started ringing:


I HATE WORD VERIFICATION!!  I can never read what it says.  Is that an “O” or a” 0″?  Is that an “I” or a “T”?  Is that an “8” or an “S”?  Is that even English?!   I had to focus.    I imagine this is what diffusing a bomb feels like.  Do I cut the green wire or the red wire?  WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

I gave myself an imaginary pimp-slap across the face to snap out of it.  I.Can.Do.This.  I had plenty of time.  It was 4:59.  Shit.

I held my breath as I scrolled down the page:


SON OF A BITCH!  What does that even say?!  What do I do?!  I can’t handle this pressure.  I have 30 seconds, tops. 

Mission fail.

All I have to say is:

F&$K Y0U

Can you read that, Word Verification?


22 Responses to “Word Verification- Are You F-in With Me?”

  1. Redneckprincess April 15, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    I HATE THOSE THINGS…there was one that I had to do when I got my Keith Urban tickets…ugh, so frustrating.

    • Don't Make That Face April 15, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

      I love how you were able to work a hottie into the conversation. 🙂
      How was the show? Worth it, I’m sure.

  2. Mutterschwester April 15, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    Sometimes the words are a little too apropos for my comfort. I’ll have just surfed through a google search for “rash round probably not ringworm” and the next verification I get is “contagion” or something like that. Big Brother, indeed!

    And getting the aural version isn’t much help.

    Love the “passwords.”

    • Don't Make That Face April 15, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

      He’s watching you, for sure. The ones that trip me up are the ones that don’t spell anything. Just random letters and numbers. It makes me uncomfortable.

  3. facepuncher April 15, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    If you are feeling really masochistic, try the audio version instead.

    Sounds like one of those cold war numbers station chicks getting banged by a humpback in a bowl of rice krispies.

  4. fnkybee April 15, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    I just wept for you. I can never read those damn things, I wonder if when the word verification comes up it automatically turns on your webcam and someone is sitting back watching all of us trying to figure out what the fuck it is saying. Laughing at us squinting, cussing, bringing in other people to see if they can figure it out. I am going to start flipping the webcam off from now on every time I have to do that;.

    • Don't Make That Face April 15, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

      You always make me laugh. If my webcam does automatically go on I would pay to see what I look like have a full blown hissy fit, neck veins and all.

  5. Invisible Mikey April 15, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    Nope, I don’t like them either. You made reading about it so funny, though.

  6. mairedubhtx April 15, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    LMAO. I can never read those word verificaTion things, either. It takes me literally 8 tries to get one I can figure out.

    • Don't Make That Face April 15, 2011 at 10:25 pm #

      I’m not even kidding that I just had to fill one out and I got it wrong….twice!

  7. Boochen Sundance April 15, 2011 at 6:10 pm #

    Man, I was seriously on the edge of me seat there. Tense, nail-biting adventure! And hilarious, too.

    • Don't Make That Face April 15, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

      I wish it was a happy ending. I was sooo angry and disappointed in myself. It basically ruined my day. I hate word verification.

  8. Bella April 16, 2011 at 9:22 pm #

    Funny and so true! The tragic thing is they’re everywhere on the web. You can’t do a darn thing without killing a couple thousand brain cells trying to figure out what they say. At this rate we should all be brain dead in a couple of months.:)

  9. marinasleeps April 17, 2011 at 1:10 am #

    As the great Fnkybee would say … that is sooo fucktarded!
    Word verification is making sure you are not a robot. Are you shitting me?!?! Obviously robots dont have bills! WTF!

    • Don't Make That Face April 18, 2011 at 9:19 am #

      I’m robots don’t have bills. That’s another reason why hate robots.

  10. Ironic Mom April 17, 2011 at 11:46 am #

    Hilarious. And I’m with you on the word verification. I usually feel vaguely drunk when I look at them.

  11. Thypolar April 17, 2011 at 6:03 pm #

    LMAO! Thats awesome. I hate word verification. I can never figure out what the fuck it is saying either. I think a damn robot could figure out what the hell it says quicker than I could.

    • Don't Make That Face April 18, 2011 at 9:20 am #

      They seem to be getting worse. I had one the other day that made me look over my shoulder because I thought surely someone was f-in with me.

  12. mitasha April 18, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    liked your blog…it’s refreshing

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