Someone Owes Me a Refund.

7 Mar

I had a list of things I needed to get done this weekend.  But, since I started to feel like ass the minute I walked into my house after work on Friday, I didn’t get anything done.  Instead, I spent the weekend on my couch half-drunk on Nyquil with a headache that made my eyes feel like they were bugging out.

Gross, but exactly how I felt.

Also, guess what!  My cable wasn’t working, again.  In fact, my cable hasn’t worked consistently for the four months I’ve had it.   Every month, when I pay the bill, just before I click “submit”, I go on a bitchy tirade about how I can’t believe I’m paying for this service, and how I would call the cable company and bitch if it didn’t mean sacrificing HOURS trying to get a hold of a REAL LIVE PERSON!  I’ve gone so far as to choosing  “el numero dos para servicio en espanol”, but was transferred to English automated hell when, in my blinding rage, I ended up speaking Spanglish.  Thank God for Netflix.

Unfortunately, the last two seasons of The Tudors (awesome) are not yet available for streaming on Netflix so I ended up wasting an hour and a half of my life on a really bad movie.  I feel it’s my duty to warn you that Unthinkable is a shitty movie, with an ending that is unthinkably shitty.  The movie itself wasn’t great, but it’s the ending I find offensive.

I’m taking the position that I must be the first person in the world who has seen this stinking pile-o-shit movie, because surely had someone seen it before, they would have warned me of its shittiness. This movie ended so badly and so abruptly that I actually dragged myself off the couch in a Nyquil-fueled haze and checked my internet connection.  Maybe someone had accidentally unplugged the TV?  I waited patiently through the closing credits thinking certainly the movie would pick up after the last credit rolled.  Nope.  Nothing.

The way I see it, Netflix, my cable company, Carrie Ann Moss, Samuel L. Jackson, the “Movies you would like” suggestion people, and the makers of Nyquil all owe me a refund, and letter of apology for the hour and a half of my life I will never get back.  As an alternative, I would settle for Netflix, my cable company, Carrie Ann Moss, Samuel L. Jackson, the “Movies you would like” suggestion people, and the makers of Nyquil having to sit through this movie.

Yeah, I didn’t think so.  Please make the checks out to “DMTF”.  Thanks.



One Response to “Someone Owes Me a Refund.”

  1. Calhoun March 31, 2011 at 10:00 am #

    Ugh I’ve done that too many times
    I mean, I’m a fan of schlocky movies, but when people that like bad movies think it’s LEGITIMATELY bad, you’ve got yourself a problem there
    Great post!

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