Lindsay’s Vida Loca.

24 Feb

It seems like every young starlet in Hollywood eventually comes to a crossroads in her career.  She can take the boring, predictable, nicely paved road to an ivy league school where, during hiatus, she’ll star in some artsy indie film with a good soundtrack.  After graduation, she returns to Hollywood as a highly respected, educated, and worldly woman starring in the dark drama about a really skinny ballerina who slowly goes insane, and in the end turns into a  dinosaur bird.

Or….

She can take the crazy, cocaine-laced, panty-less, bisexual beaten path, where she can’t stay sober enough to finish a movie, and the only time she’s photographed during the day is when she has a court date.  The only movie she can get is one where she plays an out of control teenager with daddy issues earning a living on the stripper pole.

Been There

I feel for Lindsay Lohan because it seems like she never had someone who truly had her interests at heart.  The good news is that Lindsay’s raspy voice and “I don’t care if I’m in rehab, I’m going out to the club and drinking my alcohol out of a water bottle” attitude make me think she’s sort of badass. 

If she does go to jail, the cholas may be Lindsay’s only hope in avoiding becoming some big girl’s wife.  All she’ll have to do is perm her hair, paint on her eyebrows, heavily line her lips, and change her name to Lil’ Rooster (because of the red hair, duh).

Lil' Angel, Giggelz, Smiley, and Diablita

Viva la raza, homie.

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