BREAKING NEWS!

22 Feb

I don’t know if you know this, but it turns out a lot of dudes are fans of the BJ. 

I know Hubby’s a fan.  If he could, I think he would walk around with one of those big foam fingers that say “BJs are #1”  while wearing a replica baseball jersey with “BJ” on the back.  And, I know for a fact that he would stand in a very long line for a BJ bobble head (I’m inventing this) to add to his collection. 

BJs!!! Woooo-Hooooo!

 Unfortunately, Hubby’s diehard (hehe) BJ obsession has resulted in a couple of very annoying habits.   Perhaps you can relate.

First, Hubby has taken to asking for a BJ at least once a day.  It started as a romantic, sexy, whisper in my ear request, and has evolved into an everyday, I don’t even realize I’m asking type of question.   For example:

Me:  Hi, Honey.  How was your day?

Hubby:  It was fine.  But, it would be a lot better if I could get a BJ.  *wink, wink* 

Me:  Honey, your mom is sitting right next to you. 

Hubby: (Turns to mom) Sorry, mom.  (Turns to me).  Soooooooooooooooo?

Yeah, that happened.

The other, more annoying habit is something I like to call the “head push”.  For example, Hubby and I are laying in bed watching a movie, and I reach over to grab the remote, and when my head is directly over Hubby’s chest he pushes my head toward his naughty bits.  Nice. 

Or, while he’s driving I reach down to switch the radio station when all of a sudden I feel his hand pushing down on my head.  Dangerous.

This one’s lovely.  We’re at Son’s school for parent/teacher conferences, in a packed gym, when I reach down to tie my shoe.  All of a sudden, I feel Hubby’s fingertips graze the top of my head.  Really?!

Needless to say, this habit has gotten a bit out of control. 

The other day we’re watching a movie with my brother and sister-in-law when Hubby reaches for his drink on the coffee table.  I couldn’t resist.  I jumped up, stood directly in front of him, grabbed his head in my hands, and gave him a face full of crotch.  I really ground his head in there.  There’s no way he could breathe.  I think he got rug burn on the tip of his nose.  I got a round of applause from my sister-in-law, and touché nod from my brother-in-law.

It was awesome. 

P.S.  Thanks to Hubby for the post idea.  If you wouldn’t have “head pushed” me this morning when I reached over to turn the alarm clock off , I wouldn’t have known what to post about today.  (No, this doesn’t mean you get a BJ tonight.)

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9 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS!”

  1. El Guapo February 23, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    I know I am a big fan

  2. Robin Agarwal March 15, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    Are you serious?? Really hilarious ending..

  3. Robin Agarwal March 15, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    Not a big deal. I am just returning the favor.

  4. bschooled April 20, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    OMG, I just about urinated myself reading this.

    I would have given you a standing ovation.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. As Long As I’m First Wife « Don't Make That Face - March 25, 2011

    […] BJ’s.  I would make a chart, like a chore wheel or something. […]

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