No Old Woman No Cry.

14 Feb

My sisters and I caught a  Wailers show on Friday night.  I feel really cool saying that because it’s been awhile since I’ve been to a concert, and because I called it a “show”, as kids these days do. 

The show was great, and the sunny reggae beats warmed my soul, but my attitude the entire night has me convinced that, although my actual age is 34, my party age is closer to a very hip 76.

Flo

I started to faintly hear the low, husky, whiney, Marge-Simpsonesque voice of my inner granny, Flo, early Friday afternoon, “I sure do hope the band starts at 8:00, and we’re not standing around for 2 hours!  Is there going to be any seating available, because I’ve had a long day and I’m very tired.  We better stop at the bank for some cash before we hit the road or we’re going to pay a ridiculous fee at the ATM . How do the banks get away with charging hard-working people for the use of their own money?!  D-bags!”

Flo’s bitching got a little louder when I was getting dolled up for the show,  “We shouldn’t even drink at the show, tonight.  The bar charges an arm and a leg for a dixi cup of  beer, and there’s no way we’re paying that much for cheap tap beer when we can get a sixer of the good stuff for the same price.  How do they get away with charging so much?!  Well, I guess it’s because we continue to pay that much, that’s how.  What would happen if everyone just refused to buy alcohol for that price?  The club would be forced to reevaluate their prices, that’s what!”

The show was held at an “all ages” venue, so my sisters and I spent most of our time before the show people watching at the bar, away from the younger crowd.  This was hilarious until Flo started to notice the number of young kids running around.  I turned to my sisters, and did my best Flo impression, “People wonder why kids these days are into the drugs and the drinking!  It’s because their parents let them run the streets at all hours of the night!  That girl over there looks like she’s 12 for cryin’ out loud!”  My sisters calmly reminded me that we used to catch shows at this club when we were younger, and I need to lighten up a bit.  Does Flo want a beer or something?

It was too much for my mind and body to process when I realized it was 11:00, and The Wailers hadn’t come on yet.  Flo took over the driver’s seat, “Oh, for Chisssakes!  How rude!  Who do these people think they are?  There’s no seating, our feet are killing us because DMTF insisted on wearing the cute knee-high boots instead of the sensible black flats I tried to talk her into, and she’s spent a small fortune on beer!” 

But then, the music started and Bob Marley’s soothing lyrics shut Flo’s pie hole for awhile:

 One Love!  One Heart!  Let’s get together and feel alright.

I only heard her twice throughout the rest of the show.  Once, when she spotted what appeared to be an 8-year-old midget being carried out by her friends, and she yelled at them to, “Get that poor girl some water and get her out of the crowd for cryin’ out loud!”  And, once when a young Edward Cullen looking fellow walked past her and she yelled at his ear, “You sure do look like that Edward Cullen fellow, buddy.”

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3 Responses to “No Old Woman No Cry.”

  1. Rachel February 15, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    Oh thank God. I’m not the only 34 year old living like she’s 70. 11 pm is like the middle of the night for me. Bless your heart for making the effort to be young again. It’s a fantasy I have now and then to go to a “show” and let loose but even thinking about it makes me tired. From here on out I’ll just live vi-curiously through your blogs. I love you so much. Thank you for the daily entertainment. I’m loving every minute of your blogging!

    • Don't Make That Face February 15, 2011 at 10:50 am #

      So glad you enjoy the blog! It means a lot to me that you take time out of your busy day to read it.
      Just seeing “11:00p.m.” makes me nervous. I need my sleep! Love you.

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  1. Your Comments Make Me Better « Don't Make That Face - May 6, 2011

    […] a comment from Tnfgkgag at puqywd@nkinjc.com regarding my No Old Woman No Cry post in which I bitch about a night out with my sisters: RNvHWl nnhusabgodsv, […]

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