Where The Gays At?

11 Feb

I often fantasize about finding myself  the perfect gay boyfriend.   The Will to my Grace.  The Stanford to my Carrie.  If I could choose my very own gay, it would be Randy Rainbow: 

Isn’t he fabulous?!  I love, love, love him! 

I picture the two of us walking arm-in-arm at the mall.  Randy would talk me into buying those $200 designer jeans I’ve had my eye on, the ones that make my butt look A. May. Zing.   Randy, that doll, would tell me to quit feeling so guilty, and remind me how incredibly round and delicious my butt looks in them.  He totally gets my obsession with the perfect ass

After shopping we would most likely head to the theater to catch the latest romantic comedy starring Kate Aniston Ryan McConaughey.  We would share a large popcorn (because we deserve it) and a large Diet Coke. 

After the movie I would comfort Randy as he cries on my shoulder over his ex-boyfriend.  Even though I couldn’t stand the guy, and Randy deserves waaaaay better, I hate to see my doll so upset, so I would cry with Randy as I remind  him how adorable, fashionable, sensitive, funny, and totally fabulous he is. 

While sipping coffees at the independently owned coffee shop we both love so much, we would hear “Wind Beneath My Wings” come on the radio.  After harmonizing to it beautifully and accepting a muffled round of applause we would part ways by almost kissing each other on each cheek (European style) and saying “Love you, doll!”

Oh Randy!  When will our worlds collide?!

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4 Responses to “Where The Gays At?”

  1. facebook February 17, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    i love it

  2. nursemyra April 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    …or I could just introduce you to my son

    • Don't Make That Face April 26, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

      Really?! OMG! I wouldn’t want to step on your toes, I know how hard it is to find a good gay these days. Only if you insist.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. A Mother’s Unconditional and Fabulous Love « Don't Make That Face - May 9, 2011

    […] Sorry.  I’m not gay.  You’re going to have to find your gay somewhere […]

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