Grandmother, What Big Eyes You….Is This A New Place?

2 Feb

I called my grandma Wuelita yesterday.  Here’s how it went:

Me:  Hi Wuelita.  How are you?

W:    I’m fiiine my sweedy  How are jo0?

Me:  I’m good.  There’s a blizzard coming and I was wondering if you needed anything.

W:     Noooo.  Gracias, my sweee har.  I no need no-ting.

Me:   Are you sure?  Do you have coffee?  Milk?  I’m going to the store anyway.

W:     No!  I no need no-ting.  Joo go home.  Don drrrrive.

Me:   Ok, if you’re sure you don’t need anything.  I tried calling you a couple of times this weekend, but you didn’t answer.  Did you go somewhere?

W:     Jes. I go to shursh, da store, and den I mooove.

Me:   What?!  You moved?

W:      Well, jes.  I mooove.  I get bedder aparmen don dee ‘all.

Me:  Wuelita, how did you get all of your stuff down the hall to your new apartment?  Why didn’t you call?!

W:    Well, I know joo bizzy with da schoool and dee wor, and I don wanna bodder jooo.  My frrrrend an hair sones ‘elp me.

Me:  I wish you would have called!  Well, at least you’re happy.  I can’t wait to see your new place.

W:    Oh, jes.  I like eet.   Joo comb see eet when joo brrrrring my co-fee an meelk.

I love her.





4 Responses to “Grandmother, What Big Eyes You….Is This A New Place?”

  1. Julie February 5, 2011 at 7:32 am #

    are you serious your grandma moved and didn’t tell anyone???


  1. April Fools Day A-hole? « Don't Make That Face - April 4, 2011

    […] really, really enjoy April Fool’s Day.  Growing up, my Wuelita (read about her here and here) would call me, and in her most serious sounding voice, would tell me that either someone had died: […]

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    […] people love other people’s things.  Wuelita‘s building has plastic bins in the lobby where people can bring their thrift store […]

  3. Jehovah’s Witnesses came to my door to comfort me with words of the impending Zombie Apocalypse. « detrimentalbeauty - June 22, 2011

    […] Can we come back next week to discuss point 2? *saying sure, thinking FUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK*. Brain flashes. I must get advice…. Who to turn to? Oh yes, Twitter can help. Must ask @DMTFace. Maybe she has WUELITA advice for me or maybe she will just act like her advice came from Wuelita and spell it phonetically for me so that it is fun to read…. […]

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